


it takes effort to get better

by ah_kill_es



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Awkward Crush, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender-Neutral Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, Hair Brushing, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Literal Sleeping Together, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Other, Self-Hatred, Sharing a Bed, This Is STUPID, alfonse sharena and anna are trying their best, i was about to take a depression nap and this hit me like a train, sharena and anna Know(tm), the author is writing from personal experience, these two are so awkward they'll give you secondhand embarrassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25401094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ah_kill_es/pseuds/ah_kill_es
Summary: kiran has been acting strangely for the last week or so. alfonse, anna and sharena are worried and decide to intervene.(or, more accurately, the girls send alfonse to intervene and a heart to heart ensues.)
Relationships: Alfonse/Summoner | Eclat | Kiran
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	it takes effort to get better

it had been days since kiran had last left their room, and anna, sharena and (especially) alfonse were worried.

the summoner only came out to eat, and when questioned, said nothing. they looked wilted; eyes empty that didn’t look anyone on the face, shaking hands hidden by the long sleeves of their cloak, slow movements. the commander and the royal siblings didn’t know what to do. they were sure kiran was ill, but they refused to talk about it.

‘‘we need to do something.’’ sharena said. her brother, anna and herself were having a meeting in the commander’s study. ‘‘we can’t just let them stay like that!’’

‘‘we know.’’ answered anna. ‘‘but they won’t say anything, no matter what.’’

‘‘it’s obvious they’re sick. maybe we should get them a healer?’’

‘‘i don’t know.’’ alfonse sighed. ‘‘if we did that without their permission, they could get rightfully angry.’’

‘‘but they’re our friend! we need to do something!’’

‘‘sharena, calm down.’’ anna said. ‘‘your brother’s right. we can’t just do whatever we feel is best for them without even knowing what’s wrong.’’

‘‘we need to get it out of them, then.’’

‘‘exactly.’’ agreed the boy. ‘‘however, the question of how we do that remains.’’

there was a beat of silence, in which all of them were thinking about what the best solution was.

finally, the commander sighed and looked at alfonse. ‘‘have you tried talking to them?’’

‘‘of course i have.’’

‘‘no, i mean…’’ anna clicked her tongue. ‘‘one-on-one, alone. a tête-à-tête, instead of trying to speak to them in the middle of the mess hall.’’

the boy ran a hand through his hair. ‘‘look, that was one time! and i had good intentions!’’

‘‘i’m not saying you didn’t!’’

‘‘why me, though? why not one of you?’’

sharena and anna shared a knowing look.

‘‘i think we all know why.’’

alfonse took a deep breath and knocked three times on kiran’s door.

‘‘who is it?’’ their voice was so flat, so devoid of any feeling, it felt like a slap on the face. 

‘‘alfonse. can i come in?’’ what if they don’t let me in? what if they’re in pain? what could i do if they do actually tell me what’s wrong? what— 

‘‘sure.’’

the prince opened the door and stepped in. the second he did that, he felt like he’d entered another world altogether: the air was stale, like the window hadn’t been opened in weeks; there were dirty cups and glasses on every surface, clothes strewn across the floor. kiran’s cloak was hanging on the desk chair, the one exception to the all ruling chaos within the room.

‘‘i’m sorry for the mess.’’

alfonse turned around. kiran was laying in bed, looking at them and cocooned in their blankets, despite the fact that it was a relatively warm spring day. their hair was ruly and obviously hadn’t been brushed in maybe days. the boy’s heart shrank: they looked so apathetic, so unlike their usual self. what was going on with them?

‘‘don’t worry about it. i came in because… i needed to talk to you.’’

the summoner raised themselves into a sitting position, covers falling aside to reveal a long sleeved pajama top. when they started talking, they refused to make eye contact and looked at their own hands instead. 

‘‘yeah. i know i have been underperforming these last week, and i’m sorry. i promise—’’

‘‘no, it’s not about that at all!’’ alfonse stepped forward and raised his hand as if to reach kiran, but seemed to think better of it and let it drop by his side. ‘‘i wanted to talk, because… i’m worried about you. we all are.’’

a self deprecating smile arose on their lips, and they shook their head. ‘‘of course. that’s all i’m ever good at…’’

‘‘kiran.’’ his voice had changed, it was more serious; the voice of a king rather than that of a young boy. ‘‘i’m here because i care about you, and i care and worry because i’m your friend. please. tell me what’s going on.’’

they sighed. ‘‘i guess i do owe you guys an explanation. it’s the least i could do for you. come ‘ere.’’ kiran patted the bed by their side. 

alfonse tried to ignore the blush that their silent invitation forced out of him. he walked up to them and sat near them.

there were a few seconds of silence were kiran seemed lost in thought, but they looked up back at alfonse soon enough. ‘‘what do you know about mental health?’’

‘‘mental health?’’ the prince was somewhat dumbfounded by the question. ‘‘you mean, like, stress?’’

‘‘ok, that’s answer enough.’’ kiran’s little smile made something bloom inside of him. they got serious soon enough, though. ‘‘you know when, for example, you catch a cold? how you get sick, like, physically?’’

‘‘yeah.’’

‘‘well, i have an illness. it just so happens that instead of being a physical one, mine is mental. i have… depression.’’

‘‘depression.’’ alfonse tasted the syllables on his tongue. ‘‘and what exactly is that?’’

‘‘depression affects my mood.’’ the summoner explained. ‘‘it makes me feel sad for a long time and lose interest in things i like. it affects the way i think, feel and behave. i got diagnosed with it before i came to this world.’’

although alfonse was glad that he now had an answer to the question that’d been plaguing him for days, hearing what was happening inside kiran felt like his own soul was being ripped away from his body. 

‘‘and… is there a cure?’’

the summoner shook his head. ‘‘no. i was taking medication before i came, but it was just supposed to lift my mood somewhat. it alone wasn’t going to make me all right again. it takes a lot of effort to get better.’’

the prince’s brow furrowed.

‘‘maybe we could invent a cure. get you better in no time! you have summoned healers as well as fighters, after all. i’m sure they’ll be able to make something.’’

alfonse’s monologue was cut short when kiran placed their hand on his arm. he looked at them, and they shook their head.

‘‘it doesn’t work like that. not to add that you just learned about the existence of depression, like, five minutes ago.’’

the boy bit his lip and looked down, ashamed at his own naiveté.

‘‘hey. it’s all right.’’ when he looked back at kiran, that smile that he loved was once again dancing on their lips. ‘‘i don’t need a miraculous cure-it-all to get better.’’

‘‘so you’ll get better?’’

‘‘it’ll be difficult, and it’s a winding road to recovery. i’m warning you now, there’ll be more episodes like this one, where i can’t even leave my bed. but i’ll try.’’ the summoner gave him a slight nod. ‘‘for you.’’

now alfonse knew there was no way kiran wouldn’t notice his blush. was that matching redness what he saw in his summoner’s cheeks?

‘‘um… is there anything i can do to make you feel better?’’

‘‘ah, well…’’ kiran raised his hand to his hair, obviously embarrassed, and then something seemed to click. ‘‘if it’s not too much, could i ask you to brush my hair? i haven’t done so in quite some time…’’

‘‘oh, sure, no problem! where’s your hairbrush?’’

they pointed him in the right direction, and soon enough alfonse, heir to the askrian throne, was brushing out the knots in his summoner’s hair.

‘‘say, how come you’re wearing long sleeves in this weather? aren’t you burning up?’’

the prince felt kiran tense and immediately wanted to punch himself in the face. 

‘‘that’s… a conversation we’ll have on another occasion. i’m sorry. i’m not ready yet.’’

‘‘no, no, i’m the one who should be saying that they’re sorry. i didn’t mean to intrude.’’

‘‘i know.’’ kiran’s tone was no longer strained, and alfonse felt himself breathing easier. ‘‘and i’m grateful for your concern. i really am.’’

‘‘it’s the least i could do for my summoner.’’ the second the words ‘my summoner’ came out of his mouth, alfonse blushed for the third time that day.

they let out a musical little laugh.

‘‘your summoner, indeed.’’

soon enough, kiran’s hair was all untangled. despite having finished his task, the prince didn’t want to leave or stop. being here, with them, doing something as simple as brushing their hair, felt as right as rain. so when he put the brush away, he did so a touch regretfully.

‘‘alright. i’m done. is there anything else i could do for you?’’

the summoner, who’d been turned away from alfonse this whole time, moved his head to the left, showing him their profile. they look both thoughtful and somewhat embarrassed.

‘‘there is something, but… it feels like i’d be asking too much from you.’’

‘‘try me. i can’t think of a single thing that i wouldn’t do for you.’’

kiran looked down, blushing. instead of saying it out loud, which would’ve been too much for them, they scooted over to the other side of the bed, pulled the covers down and patted the pillow by their side.

now it was, yet again, alfonse’s time to blush. 

he untied his shoes and took them off while kiran got comfortable in bed, drawing the blankets up to their chin. the prince awkwardly got under the covers, and the second he settled down, the summoner immediately crawled up to him and put their arm over his stomach. 

alfonse turned on his side to get a good look at them, and seeing his own embarrassment reflected back to him gave him enough courage to throw his own arm around the summoner’s shoulders. kiran snuggled up to him until they got their head under his chin. and like that, hearts lighter after their talk and arms thrown around each other, they both fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm both proud of myself for getting this out of my system instead of taking a depression nap but now i'm sleepy and i don't have an alfonse to awkwardly cuddle up to :(


End file.
